Skip to content
Essays

Kindness is a stubborn habit

Most advice assumes a person who never existed.

A lone figure climbing a pale stone staircase towards an arched window filled with light
A stairwell, lit from above. Photograph: The Unreasonable Human

The remedy is rarely exhortation. It is a change to the situation so that the easier choice is also the better one. The measure that matters is not what people say about choice but what they do when nobody is scoring. The usual story is that we are careless calculators. The better story is that we are careful about the wrong things. Ask most people why they did what they did and they will give you a reason; ask them again a week later and the reason will have quietly changed.

Why it persists

Consider the school run. It is a small thing, and small things are where habits live. The usual story is that we are careless calculators. The better story is that we are careful about the wrong things. The textbook treats choice as a preference to be revealed. In practice it is a story we tell ourselves after the fact. The honest conclusion is uncomfortable for reformers: people are not waiting to be corrected.

Decision-makingInstitutionsDesign
Alina Petrova
Alina Petrova — Editor-in-chief

Alina Petrova is a Year 12 student preparing to apply to university, and the founder and editor of The Unreasonable Human. She reads across psychology, economics, behavioural science and neuroscience, and writes about the gap between how people are supposed to decide and how they actually do.

Follow
Read next

More on how we decide

All essays →
People crossing a sunlit concrete hall
Ideas

Rationality is a human endeavour

Pale pink blossom on thin branches in front of a raw concrete wall
Behaviour

Why good people make bad decisions

Illustration of a head in profile facing two overlapping rust-red circles and a cluster of thin vertical lines
Economics

The price of being kind

Ideas worth reading. Every week.

Essays, data and ideas on economics, rationality and why we do what we do.

No spam. Just thoughtful ideas.